During my career I have been carefully observing many people transforming their bodies and subsequently improving their personal life.
Whether was getting a promotion, starting their own business, getting married or gaining more confidence towards the opposite sex, fitness truly helped them to change their lives.
Many of them had incredible results under my guidance but few others weren’t improving as fast or were going through a rollercoaster of ups and downs.
As a personal trainer
That got me incredibly frustrated and led me to ponder the reason behind it. I gave them the best workout and a great diet plan, monitored progress and kept them accountable via texts and emails but it was simply not enough.
I was missing something, I didn’t find the real reason behind them hiring me as a coach.
But before I explain it let me tell you a story.
Mary had a tough job in a very influential consulting firm. She was hardworking, dedicated and ambitious. But career was simply not enough for her, she wanted to feel sex y and look great both in her formal outfit and in her favorite night dress.
When we started working together she was overweight and almost ashamed of her body.
The first milestone
I gave her my best advice on nutrition and started a training program.
She quickly lost a stone, felt good and more energetic. I was very happy about her progress and I tried to push her harder, but all of a sudden I couldn’t see the same progress I was expecting.
She started missing sessions, snacking at work and drinking more than usual. I took pictures, measurements, told her to block time for training and showed her studies on how to control the cravings…but all those tricks simply didn’t work.
The real motivation
Only than I decided to sit with her and had a chat about what was going on.
She divorced few years ago, and since then she didn’t want to date any man; instead she focused all her life on work. Deep down, when she was telling her story, I knew that I had finally found what she was looking for: the confidence to meet new men and get on with her life.
That was her real motivation behind hiring me as a trainer.
I kept checking on her, giving her advice on the men she had around and making her laugh by telling my past failures with women. She slowly started dating again and I made sure to film her during each PT session to make her feel sexy and strong.
Back on the right track
In almost no time she was back on healthy diet, training regime and she also felt less frustrated. I allowed her more drinks since she was actually having many dates, and I made sure she burned them off at the gym.
Today Mary is more focused at work, feels more attractive and confident and finally found in health and fitness a way to improve every aspect of her life. We are still working together and enjoying occasional jokes about romance and sex between workout sets.
Think your motivation through
Unless you are preparing a fitness show, it is very unlikely that losing five pounds would be a strong enough motive for you.
If you want to achieve incredible results in the gym is crucial that you firstly find what is the deepest reason behind your desire for a body transformation.
When I was 17 my reason was to feel confident with girls and possibly get laid. At 22 I wanted to be a professional bodybuilder. At 24 I just wanted to be ripped for my Go Go dancer and fitness modelling jobs.
Today I want to be a role model for my clients and look amazing to market my business.
You can clearly see the shift I have been through. But since this is just me and every single person has different motives I have developed a simple exercise to determine your real motivations behind your desire for a better body.
Find your motivation
Answer these five questions and give three answers for each one of them.
1) How do you spend your time?
You always make time for what is truly important to you. When you say “I don’t have time” you are simply saying that, in your list of priorities, that particular task falls behind some more important ones. Often what we think we want to be doing is not really what is most important to us. If it was, we would figure out a way to do it.
For example: I spend my time mostly studying, training and working on my business. Those are the most important things to me. So how do you spend your time most? Sleeping doesn’t count?
2) How do you spend your money?
Leave aside food, rent and bills (unless you love eating out as a social activity, or you purposely spend more to have an incredibly luxurious house). We use the money we have for what is truly important to us.
I spend most of my money on courses, my business and products for my body. So how do you spend your money most?
3) Where are you most reliable and disciplined?
We never have to be reminded from the outside to do the things that we value most. I never have to be reminded of training, booking my clients and studying. Where are you most reliable and disciplined?
4) What do you think about, visualize and realize most?
I’m not talking negative thoughts or fluffy dreams. Where are your thoughts, goals and ambitions directed? I spend most time thinking of my progress in the gym, the evolution of my business and my relationship. What do you think about most of the time?
5) What do you talk about in social settings?
We always like to talk to people about what is truly important to us. If you had a child you would most likely talk about him/her with most folks you meet. I spend most of time talking about training, business and relationship. What do you talk about the most?
If you gave three answers to each question you should have 15 answers now.
Many of them probably repeat and that’s a good thing. The top three that repeat the most are the things you truly value in life.
If training is not in your top three don’t worry. All you need to do is take a piece of paper and write down 20 to 100 reasons why being fit, feeling strong and confident will make those three aspects of your life better.
Let’s assume you highly value your family, your spouse and your job.
It’s easy to see that feeling energetic, happy and strong will allow you to be a role model for your family, look better naked or in a suit and the list goes on… I personally suggest to write down at least one reason a day in your diary to have the most motivation.
You can either use a visual board (to hang in your room), or simply keep the paper with the “reasons for being fit” inside your personal diary. Constantly being reminded of what you’re fighting for will help you to stay on track.